Who Knew?
by Shurokami
Summary: Set close to the end of the three years Kagome is gone, this shows Kagome's mental breakdown and how she copes with the loss of her friends and Inuyasha. Rated T for language and minor violence.


A/N

Hey everyone! So here's a new songfic! (Yay! I know how much you all love those!) The song is 'Who Knew' by P¡nk! I thought of this actually while listening to the song…. Kinda in a depressed mood. (My boyfriend of two years and I just split over the weekend and I'm not taking it all too well… I miss him ) Anyways setting is near the end of the three years that Kagome has been away (post-manga). I might do one for Inuyasha's perspective, if I get enough requests for it, but right now I'm sticking to Kagome…. I'm relating a lot to her right now. Anyways, feedback is always welcome, and I LOVE reviews!! **hint hint ENJOY!!

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Who Knew?

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_You took my hand_

_you showed me how_

_You promised me_

_you'd be around_

She sat at the base of the Goshinboku, staring up into its foliage. So many memories surrounded this tree. Her soft raven tresses danced about in the wind, causing a sigh of frustration to escape her full lips as strands flew into her face. Her sketchbook lay open at her feet, continuous pictures of what others would call fantasy beings covered every page. A child with pointed ears and a bushy tail laughing, his eyes bright in some. Others, a tall man with a bushy boa-like fluff encircling his arm, a cocky boy with a wolfish grin, a woman carrying a boomerang one and a half times her own size, a monk with a wind-tunnel in his right palm. They were random, caught so beautifully they looked as if they were pictures from a long forgotten dream. Each detail was exact, they appeared caught in a moment of time; happy, sad, frustrated, or in the middle of a fight, all moments were caught in this book. But the sketches of these few characters were few in contrast to one of them. A young man with warrior eyes, his eyebrows furrowed in most drawings, with a smirk that could be matched by no human being, a fang protruding from his lip. On top of his head sat two triangular puppy ears; sometimes they would be upright, others, one or both of them lax or drawn back. He donned a hakama and haori set, some of his long hair falling down his front naturally. Sometimes, he would be depicted carrying a large katana twice the size of him with fur at its hilt.

The very picture young Kagome Higurashi sat looking at was one of her favourite ones; a rare moment where her favourite character sat relaxed, with a small smile on his face. All of his features were softened, and he looked to be staring right off of the page and at her. His hand was outstretched towards her, almost beckoning her to follow.

"Inuyasha…" A sigh escaped her lips once more as her hazelnut eyes began to glaze over. To her these were more than just drawings. No one but her family understood why, no one cared to understand it. She was ruled out as a freak after she punched a guy for suggesting she should stop drawing freaks. She shook her head and lowered it to hide her weakness from any onlookers. From inside the kitchen, Mama Higurashi looked on at the young adult, her own heart crying for her daughter.

_I took your words and I believed_

_in everything you said to me_

Just as quickly as the waterworks had come they stopped, and at once the girl was on her feet. She turned around and kicked the old tree repetitively, each kick chipping away more of the ancient bark. Mama could barely make out her daughter's remarks as she kicked the innocent tree. Mama's eyes watered as she continued to monitor the broken girl. This wasn't her Kagome anymore. Ever since she came back from the darkness inside the jewel she hadn't been the same. Ever since Inuyasha had left her here. Ever since Kagome couldn't get back. She became much more violent and her tongue had grown sharp. When she wasn't angry at the world she was crying, holding her sketchbook dearly to her chest. The sketchbook had been a gift from her younger brother, who had thought it might do everyone some good if Kagome could vent her grief in a better way than violence. It had definitely brought down the amount of outbursts she had, but nothing would stop her daughter from her outbursts for long. The poor tree had taken most of the damage from Kagome's onslaughts, and always whenever she attacked the tree she would be caught cursing it for not connecting her to the past, or for bringing Inuyasha into her life and then taking him.

_If someone said three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up and punch them out_

_cause they're all wrong_

_I know better_

_cause you said forever_

_and ever_

_Who knew?_

It had been this way for close to three years now, her condition not improving in the slightest over time. Her heart refused to heal, refused to get over him. Her mother had tried everything to get Kagome to cope with the loss of the Feudal Era, but nothing worked. Therapists had considered her demented when she told tales of slaying demons and finding undead mikos. They had wanted to put her away in a mental institution but her mother would not have it. The one thing she never hit though was the well. She was always delicate with it, even though she should have exerted her force against the one thing that was keeping her from her happiness.

Mama noticed in that instant however, after Kagome had kicked the tree for about the tenth time in the past five minutes, that Kagome did not belong in this world anymore. She didn't fit in with her friends at school, or go on any dates with the boys because they were too dull. She rarely left the shrine, always sticking to either her room, the well or the Goshinboku. It was all too often she found her young adult sleeping either inside the well, passed out from exhaustion from trying to dig her way back, or sleeping at the base of the old tree, her arms loosely hugging it. She watched as her daughter slumped back down to the tree's base, her graduation gown covered in wood chips.

_Remember when we were such fools_

_and so convinced and just too cool?_

_I wish I could touch you again_

_I wish I could still call you friend_

_I'd give anything_

Kagome was tired. Her eyes were puffy and red from her tears, and where it wasn't puffy there were bags from the lack of sleep she had been getting. She was tired of watching life pass her by, tired of being the odd girl out. She was the only one in her graduating class who wasn't going to college, the only one who would stay home and take her grandfather's place as the shrine miko. The thought of leaving the slightest chance of seeing Inuyasha and her friends again was too big of a risk. She looked up at the scar on the trunk of the tree and almost imagined her silver haired lover sleeping there peacefully with an arrow through his chest. Back then she would have given anything to come back and stay in this time; now however, all she could do was wish to go back. Her sketchbook had flipped open to another page, one that even the grief stricken girl had to smile at. It was a group shot; Sango and Miroku had been caught in a rare moment with their guard down around one another, Shippo had been playing happily with the tiny bi-neko Kirara, and Inuyasha was sleeping under a tree ever so peacefully; almost as peacefully as when he had fallen asleep in her bed. Kagome herself was in this picture; neatly tucked under Inuyasha's arm sleeping just as soundly. Kaede had taken the tiny camera Kagome had carried around with her, and having known how to take a picture thanks to the futuristic girl, had taken a snapshot of the group in their moment of rest.

Kagome hadn't known about the picture until after she was sealed on this side.

It had been one of the first pictures she had drawn that weren't angry depictions of her friends in battle. It was one of the only happy pictures in her entire sketchbook. She ran her fingers over the paper, tracing each one of her friends out individually before running her finger over her hanyou, and finally, the smile on her own depiction's face. Letting out one more lone tear, Kagome closed the sketchbook and stood up, walking back to the house and mumbling to her mother.

"Let me go wash up and then we can go… okay Mama?" Silently, she trekked upstairs to go wash away any evidence that she wasn't excited about graduation. Mama Higurashi could only stand and stare as yet another of her daughter's mood swings took into effect. Once her eldest was ready, Mama piled the family into their tiny Honda and drove to Kagome's high school graduation ceremony.

_When someone said count your blessings now_

_for they're long gone_

_I guess I just didn't know how_

_I was all wrong_

_but they knew better_

_still you said forever_

_and ever_

_who knew?_

Kagome stood in front of the principal receiving her diploma. She had graduated with an eighty average, math being her strongest subject. _Go figure. Just three years ago I was on the verge of not getting into high school because I was failing math… _Kagome sighed and scanned the crowd. Her Mama, Souta and Grandpa were all in the back, smiling proudly at her. Her eyes widened for a brief moment as they caught a flash of silver and red. Kagome, in a frenzied state, all but jumped off the stage the moment she could, and rushed towards where she had caught the glimpse of her long gone hanyou lover.

"Inuyasha? Inuyasha! Inu-" She searched the entire premises, but he was nowhere to be found. Her brother looked on with such a sorrowful expression, while her grandfather had come forward to hug the girl. It wasn't until her grandfather had calmed her and brought her back towards their little group, that Kagome saw a red metallic statue in the shape of a figure standing right next to Souta. When the light hit it just right, the chipped away pieces flashed a bright silver. Her eyes dimmed. Of course he wouldn't be here, Inuyasha was 500 years in the past. As she heard her friends' growing chatter behind her, Kagome pretended to be happy. After all, this was her graduation.

"Ne Kagome! Can you believe it? We did it!" Eri, one of the only girls to not abandon her because of her violent depression, smiled at Kagome. Yuka and Ayumi followed closely behind their friend, proud smiles on their faces.

"I can't believe we all managed to get into the same university! Why won't you come with us Kagome? It won't be the same without you." Kagome looked to the ground, replying with a small, sorrowed reply.

"I have obligations here. I can't leave the Shrine." _I can't leave the slight chance I might see Inuyasha again…_ Eri patted Kagome's shoulder and smiled sympathetically at her. It always seemed as if Eri knew more than she let on; she always understood when the others didn't.

"Don't worry Kagome-chan. We understand." Kagome smiled back slightly.

"Thanks Eri. Anyways, I have to get going, there's a tour at the shrine in an hour and I have to get ready. Ja!" Kagome took one last look at the metallic statue before walking back to her mother's car. Her family had followed after her, unsure of why Kagome would blatantly lie to her friends. They had been met by Kagome's tears once more.

"Kagome? What's wrong dear?" The girl sniffled, and hugged herself as her head dropped down to her chest.

"He was supposed to be here Mama. He promised he wouldn't leave! He promised Mama! He promised!" In a smaller whisper, she continued, "He lied to me…" Before Mama Higurashi had a chance to even speak up, Souta was in front of her with the fiercest look in his eye; one so startling it made Kagome gasp.

"Don't you ever think that! It's not his fault he wasn't here and able to keep his promise! It's that damned well's fault! That damn well ruined you Kagome! I wish you never fell down it! Then at least you'd still be hap-" Souta was instantly cut off by the palm of Kagome's hand connecting with his cheek.

"Don't you DARE, Souta! That well was the best thing that could ever happen to me! If I hadn't fallen down it then I wouldn't know true happiness! Why do you have to be such a baka that you can't see that?!" Tears burned in his ducts from the sting of the slap, but he paid them no mind as he responded with a cold look toward his older sister.

"Because it's killing you Kagome. You're not the same as you were three years ago. Being away from him is killing you more everyday and we can do nothing more but watch as it happens. Fuck this, I'm going…" Souta turned, leaving his mother and sister in tears while his grandfather shook his head from his sorrow.

"Mama, I'm going home…" With that, Kagome started her trek home alone, leaving the two elders of the family to watch as their family broke apart even more.

_Ill keep you locked in my head_

_until we meet again_

_And I wont forget you my friend_

_what happened_

As Kagome was walking home, Souta's word rang clearly in her mind. It was true that a little more of her slipped away each day, even she could see this. When she looked in the mirror, her face resembled less of her own and more like Kikyou's; dead, cold eyes, pale complexion, a frown forever set on her face. There was nothing happy about her anymore. She couldn't blame Inuyasha for it. He didn't choose for the well to close.

_If someone said three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_id stand up and punch them out_

_cause they're all wrong_

_and_

Deciding that rather than running the risk of seeing Souta in the house, Kagome made her way to the well. It wasn't until she opened the door however, that her mind and spirit began to ease, as if someone was trying to comfort her. She welcomed it with open arms, imagining that it was her hanyou reaching across the ages, protecting her as always, even if it was from her own heart.

"Oh Inuyasha…." Rather than let her tears fall as she had done so much today, the young miko smiled. She would not show Inuyasha how broken she had become. Slowly, Kagome moved towards the well, kneeling before it and resting her arms on the lip as she peered in.

_that last kiss ill cherish_

_until we meet again_

Her memories hit her hard. Visions of her times with Sango, Miroku, Shippo… they came at her so fast she could do nothing but stand there in shock. Then, then came her hanyou. Flashes of their fights, their make-ups, the times she caught him staring at her in odd ways….. and finally their first kiss. A sudden sense of helplessness hit the young miko as she moved to clutch her fists over the lip. Her head bowed so that her bangs covered her eyes and she bit her lip hard, fighting off the surge of tears for once. Why was she being such a crybaby? Inuyasha wouldn't stand for such nonsense. Inuyasha….

"I want to be with Inuyasha." Suddenly, a blue light emitted from the well.

_and time makes_

_it harder_

_and I wish I could remember_

Her eyes widened considerably and dried up instantly. She could see the Sengoku Jidai's sky on the other side as plain as day, taunting her to jump in. Her mother found her standing there an hour later when she had arrived home. As if sensing her presence, Kagome opened her mouth. "Mama…" Slowly, as if in response, Mama Higurashi came closer and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"What's wrong, Kagome?" The girl in question smiled a genuine smile for the first time in three years. Mama probably wouldn't have caught it if it weren't for her careful eyes watching her broken little girl. Peering into the well herself, Mama saw no difference, and was further confused by her daughter's sudden weird actions.

_but I keep_

_your memory_

_your busy making my sleep_

Her smile only grew. "The sky… Mama…I'm…" Kagome wasn't making any sense at this point. Instead, the older of the two women cast her eyes down the ancient well. Even without her daughter's or her late husband's spiritual powers however, Mama Higurashi barely made out faint traces of what looked like a sky. She gasped, all but letting go of Kagome and grasping onto the lip of the well herself to get a better view at this phenomenon.

_my darling_

_who knew?_

"Mama, I'm….I'm connected."

_Who knew?

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_

A/N

ANNNNNDDD there we have it. 5 and a bit pages of horrible writer's block on a song that could tell such a better story…. I'm sorry. I apologize for this one…. It just seems to drag on and on.

Shuro-chan


End file.
